Let it Die
by saison
Summary: Noelle and Jasper are vacationing on Noelle's island until they find themselves racing back to Forks under dire circumstances. With unknown events yet to unfold, their loyalties to each other and the Cullens are put to the test, and they will fail. But no one knows better than the two of them that it isn't possible to stand eight times without falling seven. Sequel to Wicked Games.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:** Welcome all. This is the sequel for my story "Wicked Games." __"Let It Die" is a song by Foo Fighters that I do not own or claim to own. The Twilight series is brilliant, and I don't claim to own that either. _

_Just a rule of thumb for this chapter only, italics are Noelle's thoughts. _

_Reviews are welcome and heavily encouraged. _

_Ciao._

* * *

_They said that if you love something, you should set it free. That if it comes back, it's yours to keep and cherish forever as you had planned. If it doesn't, it was never yours, and everything you poured your soul into was a lie. Another disappointment. Another bloody scar._ Noelle shuffled in the snow beneath her boots and inched towards her new friend. Anxiety filled her center with no apparent relief to be coming anytime soon. Edward's head drifted to stare in her direction, jaw set, giving me an affirming nod. _I can't afford to think like that_.

With her shattered heart beating fast, the boy beside her placed a hand on her shoulder to make her realize she wasn't _alone_. Another hand found the way to her knee cap in the midst of her drastic, irrational, racing thoughts she should probably stop having. With the tender touch, Noelle lovingly recited the words alongside the girl who shouldn't have knowledge of things so dark, _"For I love the name of honor more than I fear death."_

Once more, Edward turned to give her the same look. His arm was locked firmly around Bella's waist. With lock of vision, Edward's brow furrowed, "You've made up your mind?"

"I'm going to fight until I die," she declared, crossing her arms and organizing herself mentally for what would eventually come. Her world was a spinning white mess and she couldn't help but assume those scars had gotten to her head. The pale, but strikingly olive colored hand removed itself from her shoulder, and they shared a reassuring glower with each other. His deep red eyes were so innocent. They were all innocent.

_It's about time I died for something innocent. _


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Alright! I'm back! 6,000 words down of the sequel. I had the thing almost completed until my flashdrive deleted all of my files, just all of my manuscripts totaling up to over a million words. Now, I'm starting fresh again, and I like this take on the story better. Warning though- there's some language in the chapter. Very, very naughty language. _

_I won Nanowrimo! Now I want to finish this because I saw Breaking Dawn Part 2. Usually, I'm not a fan of the movies (literally no Jasper) but this one was amazing (even though I don't believe Jasper even spoke). GO SEE IT!_

_Reviews would be appreciated, since I'm deciding to update whenever I want to. I'm tired of a schedule :P_

* * *

Her mind was troubled, to say the least. Noelle had propped herself in the windowsill. Staring out into the seas, the middle of August had come and gone, the first dawn of September shone off of the aqua hued waters. Jasper lingered behind her, staring into space. What felt like minutes to her were truthfully hours. Hours of harrowing silence because she did not believe what had happened. It wasn't possible.

"What do you want me to do?" he nearly begged her, she knew it wasn't fair for him to be subjected to her stress as well. He had to feel everything she endured. Noelle peered over her shoulder, checking to see if he was still there, even though she could hear the unneeded intakes of air. Jasper had long since discarded his book, not that it really grabbed his attention anyways. Vampires became relentlessly bored much to Noelle's dismay. It was extremely hard to find something that kept her enticed for an extended period of time.

Noelle didn't want Jasper to do anything. To be quite honest, she wanted Jasper to get as far away from her as possible. She was the reason they abandoned him. He exhaled, removing himself from his relaxing stance on the bed, walking slowly over to wrap his warm arms around her midsection. Jasper rested the side of his face atop of her crimson tresses, nuzzling his nose further into the perfection, "Please don't do this to yourself, darling," he spoke, actually attempting to annunciate.

She shook her head. There was no use in telling him, Noelle had to protect him from the people who were supposedly their closest confidants. "No, I am going to do this to myself," she weakly argued, watching the waves crash on the sandy shore. Why would anyone want to hurt Jasper?

He sighed, holding Noelle tighter to him. She loved him so much, she really couldn't describe it. But the love manifested in protectiveness. No one was allowed to hurt him and get away with it as long as she was around. "I've been seeing things Jasper," she admitted, hoping she didn't sound too crazy.

Noelle knew she could see other's past through touch, specifically scars, but lately it was much more complex. Earlier she had witnessed something so horrific; she thought she was truthfully insane. She hadn't touched anyone, she wasn't even thinking of them, it just happened. "We need to go back to Forks," she eerily proposed, hoping it was just her overactive imagination.

And just like that, he nodded in agreement, releasing her torso so they could pack.

* * *

Silence, utter silence on the trip back home. Even the hour long car drive from the private airstrip was enveloped in complete silence. Noelle used the lack of dialogue against herself; she was an idiot to bring him back here like this. But she had to be sure, she had to know the answers, she was selfish and she could not allow herself to care. His thumb traced circles on the back of her palm that he clutched lovingly.

They pulled into the driveway, Rosalie waiting for them on the porch. It was true after all. Noelle's nostrils flared. Ignoring that the car was still in motion, she jumped from the vehicle, jolting up the steps to meet the crossed armed blonde. "You… _Bitch!_" Noelle snarled. Jasper stopped the car immediately and advanced towards the enraged Noelle. He wasn't fast enough; apparently, Noelle was able to get a few more personal jabs at the blonde who stood her ground in speechlessness. "I really hope you understand what you did for your own _fucking_ vendetta Rosalie, I hope you all understand!" she feuded, writhing in anger, shaking with the fury rolling off of her. She swore she could kill someone, pounce and rip off their throat. Rosalie would be her first target.

"Noelle!" Jasper cleared his throat, "What is all of this?" he pulled her back by a wrist that was bunched into a fierce fist. Stay ignorant, she prayed silently to herself.

"Noelle, it's not that simple," Edward exited the door Rosalie stood in front of.

That statement really grinded her gears the wrong way. She hated that people still attempted to lie to her, she could see their past decisions, and there was no hiding. Jasper, anticipating her planned ambush she was about to make reality, held her hands behind her back. "It is simple Edward! It is very simple!" she exclaimed, breaking free of Jasper's grip effortlessly. He didn't bother to try to encase her wrists again. Noelle didn't bother to attempt to lunge for someone. "You did not want Jasper here because of his ability to shift people's ideals, and you didn't want me here because I could be an informant," Noelle explained, "But really, I see it as everyone looking for an excuse to abandon him, and that's not _fucking_ okay with me."

Jasper stiffened at her words. Noelle instantaneously felt terrible, it was not supposed to come out that way, and he did not need to figure it out in that manner. "Oh, I used it as an excuse to get rid of you," Rosalie rolled her eyes. Edward gave her a disrespectful glare, but Noelle knew it to be the truth.

Jasper's arms wrapped around her midsection, she became the anchor that held him in his place. Noelle knew it would only take him a split second to off Rosalie for good. _"Take it back,"_ he demanded, his back arching in case he had to attack his own sister. Holding his hands to her stomach, she didn't want a bloodbath; the Cullen's didn't deserve a full-out war on the front porch. Especially over something as small as her.

"You know what Rosalie, that's fine, but getting rid of him in the process tells me too much about your _stellar_ character," Noelle frowned, noting that Carlisle was now advancing towards the doorway blocked by Edward. Noelle quickly analyzed Carlisle's past, he was pure. Apparently, they held a vote on whether or not to tell them, and apparently the vote was weighted. Edward, Bella, and Carlisle all counted as two votes considering Bella and Edward where the parents and Carlisle was the head of house and the medical professional. It was all a mess she really wished she hadn't witnessed.

Carlisle muttered a quick, "Excuse me," to Edward and stepped onto the porch, still clinging to dew from the previous night. Noelle shared a gaze with Carlisle in mutual understanding of his support. "Let's all go inside and speak about this in a civilized manner, shall we?" he suggested.

"I'll try Carlisle, but can I have a minute with him?" she queried.

The doctor nodded sincerely, briefly speaking with Rosalie and Edward. Bella was upstairs napping and the stench of wolf infiltrated Noelle's nostrils. When the porch was cleared, she turned around to face Jasper, pain evident on his face.

With the palm of her hand, she stroked his cheek lovingly. He still glowered at her with the same pained eyes, the exact pained expression he exchanged with his now estranged sister, Noelle knew she was no better. "I shouldn't have even told you about this," Noelle shook her head in shame.

"You never did, Noelle," he crossed his arms, clenching his teeth in anger as he spat the fact straight to her face. She'd never seen him so livid before. Actually, she'd never seen a person more disturbingly indignant in her life. "You never even told me that you saw something," he bitterly expressed.

Noelle held up her finger. That was not true in the slightest. "Do you seriously want to add to all the lies that I have to hear today?" she childishly proclaimed, regretting it as soon as the words left her mouth. Jasper ran a hand through his hair, whether out of confusion or the need to pull his hair out by the follicles, she disliked both. "I shouldn't have said that," she admitted, biting her lip.

He sighed, staring at the grain in the wood they stood upon, "Why couldn't you have told me this was the reason we were coming back?" Jasper asked.

She pondered that for a split second. Even her motivated brain couldn't find an answer. Protection did not count anymore, because she had hurt him. Fear did not even come into consideration. "I don't know," Noelle's voice shook, emotion running thickly through the decibels.

That answer was not good enough for him; his body morphed into something even more rigid if possible. "Then you better figure it out," he gritted his teeth, trying to hide his emotions as well. Noelle took a deep breath and closed her eyes momentarily as she felt him leave, zipping into the dining room where she knew the family had gathered.

Composing herself, she followed him inside, the room reeking of whatever Bella's blood had become. Noelle didn't believe it was even Bella's scent, the beautiful floral she tried to hunt a while ago, but somehow it was.

She sat next to Esme, and Jasper sat across the table next to Alice. The table felt like a thousand miles apart as she tried to get Jasper to even acknowledge her existence. Noelle hated to relish in the simple fact that she was nothing to him at the given moment. "Alright, I'm going to go ahead and break this down for everyone," Carlisle broadcasted, specifically referring to Jasper since Noelle knew she was of little help to him.

"Alright, during Edward and Bella's honeymoon, Bella has conceived a child that is life threatening to carry," Carlisle gravely announced. Jasper mouthed impossible, as Noelle simply stared at him as if he was going to turn back around. "She's in really bad shape, and the pack is planning to attack and dispose of us as soon as the child is born," he grimaced.

Esme cleared her throat, signifying that she wished to tell the rest, "The only reason we decided to keep you two out of this is because we wanted to protect you," she pleaded. That was true for some of them, but Noelle knew that Rosalie meant malicious intent. Nevertheless, she felt reassured in the knowledge she wasn't wrong, she actually saw the truth. Noelle had gotten what she wished for and a whole lot more that she didn't. "We have Jacob, Leah, and Seth on our siding," Esme trailed off.

Noelle nodded, trying to group everything. All the black eyes trained on her or Jasper, gauging their reactions. "I saw it, I got freaked out, and I apologize for arriving here and causing a scene," she sincerely confessed.

"You saw it?" Edward blurted out.

Nodding, Noelle shrugged her shoulders. She didn't know how she saw it. Edward seemed to get that and dismissed the topic.

Shortly thereafter, everyone departed, each suffering in their own thirst, worrying about the future that inevitably awaited all of them. Noelle retreated to the living room, mindlessly watching television alongside Emmett, the only person who didn't seem to hate her. Jasper sat in the kitchen, chatting here and there with Esme. Not once did he mention Noelle, not once did he even dare to look at her. Each time she did hear her name, the subject was changed, like she was nothing, like she was something to be discarded.

It hurt her, but could Jasper even feel it? She continued to watch the screen, hoping and praying something would change. Alice came into the room some time later, sitting next to Noelle, massaging her pale temples. "Can you see anything that involves this child?" she nearly yelped in distress.

Could vampires even feel pain? Noelle shook her head, "I'm not sure how my thing even works," she disdainfully told Alice, who then growled in frustration. The pixie then strolled back up into the attic where she came from. Emmett giving Noelle a weirded out look as they returned to the sedentary lifestyle.

Jasper eventually returned to the living area towards the morning hours, lounging in the white leather recliner aimlessly staring out the window on the opposite wall. His eyes didn't even revert back once to her. After fifteen minutes she couldn't take it. Noelle angrily got up, and stomped to the front of the house, she knew what was there, and she knew what she was to do.

She played up and down each scale softly, lifting the top off of the grand piano. E5 was off the slightest bit. Noelle played the tonalities thrice more before finally finding the right sound. From the depths of the house, she heard a worried Edward inquire, "What is your wife doing to my piano?"

No answer followed. Noelle's chest shuttered in pain as she tightened the string. Pounding on the E5 again, it sounded terrible, now the whole thing was out of tune. "There's something about the Whitlocks and pianos," Emmett muttered, Edward mustering several chuckles.

Noelle reminisced on what her father would teach her about tuning the piano correctly, and she proceeded to do that. Running back around to the white keys, the E5 still sounded horrendous to the ear, gnarling the once beautiful sounds into something unrecognizable. "Shit!" she whispered.

The recliner in the living room swished forward with the release of the lever. Jasper's footsteps were heard sounding down the hallway, gracefully placing themselves right outside the arch that marked the entranceway to where she was working. He passed, with little response, if so much as a sideways glance of the eyes.

When he passed completely, she removed herself from the string she was tightening and pulled her knees closer into her body. There, she laid her head on the peaks of the joints and dryly heaved, each cry breaking a new barrier of sadness in her body. He hated her. Noelle hated herself too, the one time she had something good in her life, she sent it running for the hills in fear.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I'm back. Reviews would be nice because I've got other projects and I need to know what to prioritize and whatnot. I'll post what I have tonight and I will go from there. _

_Hate to be that way, but I write fanfiction as entertainment, as in, I like to entertain. Fanfiction tests the waters for my original fiction pieces and allows me to gauge my writing ability, which apparently sucks. _

_So yeah, reviews would be very nice._

* * *

Bella slept most of the day and Noelle planted herself on the couch most of the day. Her thirst was just beginning to branch into mildly uncomfortable, but by far, she had it the easiest in the household of vampires who hadn't dined in roughly a month. Emmett sat at the end of her extended legs, debating each moment whether he would have to do something he'd regret to satiate the burn harnessing itself to the back of his throat.

This was enough, Noelle finally declared, flinging her legs off of the side of the couch. Emmett gave her a wary look as she needlessly stretched her arms above her head. "What?" she murmured.

"Nothing," he sighed. His usually chipper, happy-go-lucky demeanor gone.

Noelle gathered her strength and lifted herself to her feet, beginning to slowly ascend the stairs. Not slow enough, because she still reached the top floor in several hasty motions, and was in front of Jasper's study before she even realized it.

The door was open, wide open to be exact, and Jasper was completely focused on the computer screen in front of him. She cautiously tiptoed into the office. Nothing, she was still nothing. His eyes didn't even move from the screen.

She couldn't live like this. Her fingers found their way to her left hand, twisting off the diamond ring that seemed so perfect just days ago before she screwed it all up. Noelle sat the piece of jewelry on his desk, the gold clattering with the polished wood, sobs formed in her chest as Jasper's eyes located the origin of the noise. Before he could say a word, she stormed out of the study those damned sobs already beginning to occur.

"Noelle!" Jasper rushed out of his office, her feet immediately picking up the pace. It wasn't like she could run anywhere he couldn't find her. "Noelle," he begged, something in his voice compelling her to stop on the second step from the second landing. He descended the stairs, rushing towards her in case she tried to bolt once more. Jasper's fingers encased around her wrist, sending a shock through her nerves.

Noelle growled at him, poorly, "Get off of me," she managed, not sounding as threatening as she wished. At least she knew she was actually there, that Jasper could physically see her. "You don't even notice my existence anymore," she fueled her argument, trying to give some kind of logical explanation to why she'd even attempt to hurt him more.

"Noelle, please," he pleaded finally reaching where she was on the step. His eyes were wide, something inside of her wanted to believe this was happening but it wasn't at the same time. Jasper's hand cupped her right cheek, "God I've really messed up," he exhaled, staring to his side like he did that day he didn't want to break down in front of Bella as he told his story.

"No, I'm the one that messed up, just please," Noelle shivered, not the type experienced in the cold, "If you're going to leave me Jasper, just do it already. Please, it's all I ask," her voice cracked, though she explicitly instructed it not to.

Jasper shook his head, rubbing his thumb along the contours of her face. She really hated when people buttered her up and let her down easily. Noelle wasn't fragile, she could handle it. But then again, she could also lie to herself very well. "No," he simply iterated, "I'm not going to do that because it's not happening."

They stood in silence before Jasper wrapped his arms around her. She returned the notion, letting the cries break against his chest, for once she wouldn't ruin his shirt with tears because of the fact she couldn't produce them. Shortly after his notion, the sobbing ceased to exist, and Noelle calmly held onto him. There was no way she was letting the best thing in her life walk out on her.

* * *

"Noelle, you need to go hunting," Jasper gritted his teeth, trying to handle himself the correct way this time around.

Noelle stubbornly shook her head as Jacob rolled his eyes dramatically, "No, I do not need to go hunting, I am a liability," she informed. Carlisle and Edward nodded their heads in agreement. Jasper did not budge.

"Noelle," he warned.

"Jasper," she returned, "Didn't I tell you not to tell me what I need?" He sighed before Noelle even finished her statement, Carlisle giving him a reassuring look. Noelle would be fine, she knew she would. That still didn't mean Jasper was going to let this one go easily. "Be safe," she caught his wrist before he exited the back door.

"Love you," he smiled.

"You too," Noelle replied.

The hunting party left and Noelle hoped they were going to be alright. Edward held the same reverence in his eyes, knowing that the days were dawning closer to Bella's due date. Rosalie was upstairs with the mom-to-be along with Jacob. Edward ascended the stairs to join them, Noelle staying on the ground level to protect the area in case something happened along with Alice. "So…" Alice tapped her fingers on the granite.

Noelle smirked, trying to find a starting point to talk with Alice about. She really didn't know her that well. "You two are getting engaged?" she pointed to the diamond on Noelle's finger.

She beamed, holding her left hand up, not in a flaunting way, but just to show her what he had purchased. "Yes, as of the moment," Noelle sighed.

"As of the moment?" Alice perched an eyebrow.

"Yes, as of the moment," Noelle answered. Alice stayed quiet after that one.

She really did hope she'd be able to stay with Jasper, that they'd all live through this. Noelle didn't understand how Bella could even manage to risk everyone's life like this, it was selfish, beyond Noelle's selfish. But it was too late, and Noelle knew she was to live with it. Either way, it was all predestined.

Like the way the cup of blood splattered on the floor and the crack of Bella's back sounded. Noelle immediately ran outside with Alice, Alice focusing on the family she could see. "There making a turn by the river, they heard the screams," Alice croaked.

Noelle focused her entirety on the woods, the plans the Quileutes were mapping at the very moment, past decisions as soon as they were uttered. "They're going to try to get us from the back, they've got an advantage on high ground Alice, send everyone away from here," Noelle warned.

"Carlisle and Esme are going ahead with Seth, They'll be here in four minutes," Alice proclaimed, taking a defensive stance.

"All the wolves have departed, they're going to be here in two minutes, Alice!" Noelle exclaimed, trying to muster any remaining strength she had. She was going to need it.

Cries were heard upstairs, that of a baby girl being thrust into Rosalie's arms. Noelle sighed in relief, though there wasn't a complete knowing of safety quite yet. The wolves were approaching faster. "Jasper's cut away from the group," Alice muttered.

"What!" Noelle screeched. Before long though, she could smell him, the pine and leather scent jetting through the yard. Shortcut, she supposed, but right in the line of fire. "Jasper, get away from there!" Noelle screamed, hearing the wolves footfalls approaching closer. They were going for him first.

He obeyed her, running up around the side of the house. "Stay away from me Noelle, do not fight near me," Jasper instructed her about the same time Edward leapt over the railing to the porch, shirt bloodied. It made sense why Jasper wouldn't want her near him, he was the first target according to Jacob.

She began counting down, anticipating the future on past decisions, "One, two…" Noelle was cut off by the lunging of a wolf, heading straight for her throat. Instinctively, she avoided it, sending the dog rolling into the tree. "Emmett is rounding about the creek, thirty seconds," she broadcasted, kicking the large black wolf off of Edward.

Knowing a silver wolf was coming towards her, she ducked and swiftly barrel rolled under it, only to be pinned under a different one.

_This is how I die_, she thought, struggling against the mutt's grip. Alice threw the dog off of her, sending the animal clambering into a tree trunk. That's when she saw it. A wolf was nearing in on Jasper's jugular and she didn't think. Launching herself through the air she tackled the dog, hugging it like she saw the newborn do to Jacob. A snarl ripped from her throat with the satisfactory crack of two ribs.

"Noelle!" Jasper grimaced. She ignored him, moving to swat away a dog from the front steps wherever the child was located. Surprisingly, Carlisle and Esme arrived on scene before Emmett alongside Seth and Leah. Emmett arrived as he threw himself from tree to tree. Noelle, caught in the moment, was thrown against the ground.

She squirmed, this wolf was very large and everyone else was preoccupied. Noelle though, with one last shriek of desperation threw the wolf off of her. The sandy colored body collapsed atop of another reeking dog, freeing Esme. Both women teamed up and began taking on the competition.

Suddenly, Jacob appeared and Noelle's mouth dropped.

Rushing over to stand next to Jasper, considering the battle had paused, he gave her an annoyed look, "It's over, babe," she confided as Edward's eyes widened. He looked like he wanted to hug and beat the ever loving shit out of the chocolaty wolf at the same time.

* * *

"I've only killed about… Fifteen people. I don't think that's bad at all," Noelle shrugged, watching Jake's reaction in the mirror. She loved doing that, freaking him out, it was quite entertaining. "Emmett fed off of thirty three, and Jasper… I'm not sure you even kept count your newborn year, so I can't really tell," Noelle babbled, viewing each of their pasts, "I could figure it out but it would take forever," Noelle exaggerated, nuzzling into his shoulder blade.

"It's a good thing I don't want to know," he sweetly determined. Bella's heart beat strongly in the background, it was astonishing that the future vampire was not screaming and thrashing about. Noelle remembered her transformation clearly, almost too clearly.

Noelle sighed, the remnant smell of blood being masked by harsh chemicals. A nice, warm, neck would be satisfactory to sink her teeth into at the current moment. "You had two sisters and a brother. You have your mother's features and her temper. But, you have your father's rebellious streak," Noelle informed Jasper.

Slowly nodding in interest, Jasper gave her an affectionate gaze, "You know their names?"

She furrowed her brow, trying to focus. The past came to her almost like bullet points with small illustrations of scenes. "Your mother's name was Caroline, your older brother was Tyler, your older sister I do believe… Her name was Bethany. Josefina was the name of your little sister—she looks exactly like you," Noelle reported, keeping her gaze locked with his pure golden eyes, "Your father's name was Marcus," she added, realizing she forgot the information.

"Anything else you wish to tell me?" he raised his eyebrows, pressing their foreheads together amply. Noelle noticed his tone had notes of despair hanging to the words. She continued though, trying to gather her studies together. Nodding her head a little too enthusiastically, Jasper rolled his eyes, "Well, continue."

"I'm related to Emmett," Noelle shrugged. Emmett gave her a devious smirk to let her continue. "His sister is my Great-Grandmother on my mother's side," she returned the grin.

Jasper nodded, staring at Emmett, than turning to stare at her. There were no real similarities in her or Emmett, but it was the truth, nonetheless. Interrupting the awkward staring, Rosalie carted in the baby. Renessmee, Noelle never saw a child so advanced, so utterly perfect. She didn't cry, she was only the slightest bit impatient, and she grew so fast. Rose shoved the child into Noelle's arms, literally, "She's been asking all day," Rosalie rolled her eyes.

Renessmee's brown eyes stared up into Noelle's as the redhead repositioned herself away from Jasper. The child's hand extended to feel a perfectly coiled ringlet resting on Noelle's shoulder. Jasper chuckled, giving Noelle a funny look. "What?" Noelle awkwardly chuckled.

He rolled his eyes, putting a hand on her shoulder lovingly, "You hold her like she's about to explode," Jasper hushed. Noelle swore she felt heat rise in her cheeks, but that was simply a past life. Nessie closed her eyes, resting peacefully in the serenity of the quiet home, though Noelle could hear to the freeway.

About fifteen minutes had passed before she gestured the sleeping child to Jasper. With a shocked look on his face, he shook his head politely. Noelle handed the baby off to Rosalie, taking Jasper's hand in hers, leading him from the front door into the yard. "We still have our house right?" Noelle inquired.

"Rosalie and Emmett fixed it up as a joke," Jasper sarcastically informed. Noelle felt their smiles as they were only a pane of glass away.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I'm back. Reviews would be nice because I've got other projects and I need to know what to prioritize and whatnot. I'll post what I have tonight and I will go from there. _

_Hate to be that way, but I write fanfiction as entertainment, as in, I like to entertain. Fanfiction tests the waters for my original fiction pieces and allows me to gauge my writing ability, which apparently sucks. _

_So yeah, reviews would be very nice._

_On a different note... More of Noelle's past! _

* * *

"May I ask why you have three textbooks belonging to the New York School system in our closet?" Jasper picked up each of the texts that brought back so many memories for Noelle. Various pictures, notes, diagrams were nestled in the pages of each. She even smelled the samples through the small pouches.

They were finally going through everything she had brought. There wasn't a lot, but she still wanted to sift through it all. "You're holding the textbooks that have devised one of the nastiest freebase forms of heroin, Jasper," she snatched the books politely from him, dragging him down the stairs to the kitchen island.

First, she opened the Chemistry book, "You used to have a tattoo?" Jasper touched the reflective of the picture.

"Don't be polite, I know when I was human you could see splotches of it," Noelle rubbed her abdomen in the photograph. Thankfully, her stomach wasn't ravaged any longer, by the brand or the remnants of the ink.

Jasper rolled his eyes, cuing her in on his knowing. "How?" he queried, Noelle knowing it killed him to ask her.

"Vito was pissed off when I got it because it would be easy to identify me," Noelle reminisced, "He decided to sit me down in a chair one fine night and scrub my skin with rubbing alcohol and bleach," she grimaced in the recollection of the memory. Jasper's look was priceless, something of rage not forgotten and only brewing. If Vito wasn't dead, Noelle was sure Jasper would kill him. "Bleached my skin," Noelle muttered as she turned the page.

She fingered through the pages, deciding to speak when necessary, "His family was planning on disposing of me because I was a 'bad' influence, so I made myself worth keeping around," Noelle pointed to the first sketches shakily drawn. "I began creating freebase drugs," she flipped the page to run her fingers over the portion of the first bag she created, "First one," she shrugged, handing it to him.

He held it in his hands, examining it against the light before setting it back down between the pages, "New freebases, stuff that wasn't polluted, my goal was to take the impure dangers out of the drug." Noelle shook her head, turning the thin pages of the textbook. It was a life to say the least. "I began making my own runs, running from the law, being on everyone's hit list, and it was all a game to see who would do the craziest thing next," Noelle chuckled.

Picking up the Botany book, she tried to see his reaction, which was interest at best. Hopefully he didn't think she was worse than she already was. Noelle took a deep intake of breath for confidence, "Then, I started mutating marijuana, which attracted attention from a prominent figure in the substance business, Guillermo Delacruz."

"He was a good guy, but so sadistic, he sent me to Sri Lanka or whatnot and almost had me die," Noelle flipped the page towards the middle, "It was during the Sri Lankan Civil War and a random person came and shot straight through my collarbone. He laughed like it was a joke."

Jasper stiffened, showing his protectiveness. Noelle was honored, but she could fend for herself, she'd done it so many times before. "Anyways, after that, Vito started running behind Guillermo's back and I stayed true to as an operative until I told Guillermo I couldn't run around for him anymore because, well, I was knocked up," Noelle giggled, turning around to kiss Jasper's cheek momentarily. A grin washed on his pale face, that's what she liked to see. "He was fine with that, until he figured out about Vito, so Guillermo started a rouge group amongst other gangs. Guillermo lost control of the group and that's when they all came and took me away along with my child," Noelle divulged, Jasper knowing the rest of the story except for one snippet.

Noelle took out the Physics textbook, flipping to the front where multiple legal documents fell out, "Here's the part that makes everyone want to kill me," she pointed to the papers. Her lips formed a smirk, "In wake of the rouge group killing my son, I sold out to a pharmaceutical company in Israel. I handed over my freebase formulas that everyone craved, so the formulas and hybrids could be used for something worthwhile, but mainly so they wouldn't have it."

"Dang," Jasper flipped through the pages, "I think you made more than Edward did last year."

"I get cuts, as long as weed isn't legalized, and hush money from Guillermo's profits. I also get a thirty year salary from the Israelian company, plus what they gave me initially. I forgot," Noelle let her shoulders lift and fall to show how unimportant it all was.

Jasper gave her an interesting glare as he stuffed the papers back into the book neatly. "You didn't deserve that type of life," he sighed, stacking the books on top of each other.

Noelle painfully disagreed. She wanted that life, she chose that life, and she had to live with the ramifications. "I'm not the innocent one, Jasper, it doesn't matter anymore, it's done, it's the past," she smiled as appropriately as possible.

He shook his head. Planting a lengthy kiss on her lips, "You were a great mother," he complimented her, their foreheads pressed together.

"And how would you know that?" Noelle raised an eyebrow, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. Her fingernails scratched gently at his green shirt. Smirking evilly, she knew he was only moments away from giving in.

"I just have a feeling," he calmly collected himself.

Ceasing the teasing, Noelle sensed Jasper clearly wanted to talk to her about a subject Noelle feared would come up, she let him take the floor anyways, "Would you, if things were different… Would you want that with me?" he inquired, self-consciously almost.

She tried to envision it. The whole concept would be different with Jasper. With Vito, she wasn't surprised she was the only one to make it out alive. Could she? Noelle argued with herself for what seemed like so long, but her vampire brain was so much faster than her human one, only seconds had elapsed. "You'd be great Jasper, in all seriousness," Noelle confided.

Jasper nodded, knowing him, Noelle knew he was going to apologize. Instead of making him feel bad, she cut him off with a more mature answer than the fragment she gave him, "There would be no better father I could pick for my children, but, I couldn't put you through that. Even though Bella's alright, I couldn't do that to you Jasper. Besides, I don't think I could even begin to have confidence in myself considering what happened," Noelle sighed.

Once more, he nodded in genuine understanding. His arm wriggled itself to its rightful place on the low of her back. "I'm glad everything is finally settling down," he closed his eyes in dramatic intonations of bliss.

Noelle agreed. "Now," she pried herself from Jasper, despite both of their dislikes, "What's with you and my visions all of a sudden?" she asked, his nostrils turning upwards at the mere mention of 'visions.'

"Nothing," he kissed her cheek quickly. Noelle glowered, not even allowing the thought of condoning his white lie to cross her mind. "Fine," he huffed. She leered in victory, knowing that they were both putty in each other's hands, and she wasn't about to stop taking advantage of it. Jasper reached for her hand, holding it softly as he told her with a worried look, "I'm afraid that… The Volturi, you remember them right?" Jasper stammered, trying to express himself. His furrowed brow and concerned, gleaming eyes were so cute, though they were discerning to her in the same fashion. "They're going to want you. Noelle, I seriously don't think you know how powerful you really are," Jasper stroked the back of her palm.

"I'm not powerful," she argued. She had nothing that Alice or Edward did not already possess.

Jasper chortled, almost painfully, "You have concrete evidence of anyone's past, and as every second passes, you get more and more information towards what they'll do in the future. Also, you broke the barrier somehow."

"Hmm?"

"You broke the barrier between tactile gifts and mental gifts, something that has never been done before," Jasper briefly smiled, though he still wore the irksome expression. So what if the Volturi would want her? They didn't even know she existed, at least she thought so. "You're a pretty decent fighter though you haven't had any formal training… Noelle, you're like the freaking package deal for them," he grinded his teeth together.

"We'll worry about it when it happens, alright?" Noelle tucked a piece of Jasper's hair behind his ear. She had to learn to play herself down a little for his sake, for Jasper appeared seconds away from exploding. "Let's just get back to what we were doing," she suggested, taking his hand forcefully.

Jasper sighed, rolling his eyes, "Going to show me your weapon stash now too?" he joked.

Noelle grinned, stopping at the closet door. Dumping out a shoebox, out fell more fragments of her past. She quickly scooped the plastic slips into her arms in embarrassment. Jasper had managed to clutch one though. "You aren't supposed to see those," she insisted, trying to grab the flimsy plastic from his hands.

He looked up from the fluorescent orange band and gave her eyes that she didn't know how to interpret. "Noelle," his voice spoke decibels of pure hurt.

She frowned, knowing there were many more to match the solitary one he held reluctantly. Personally, she didn't like to think about it either. "I have a really bad self defeating personality don't I?" she smirked, but not of the result of charm or wit. Jasper didn't find it funny.

"When were you going to tell me this?" he embraced her, running his hand down her arm.

"Yeah, like I could just pick a random time to tell you, 'Hey, babe, I know you're like all happy and stuff, but yeah, I tried to commit suicide a few years back a couple of times.'"

"A couple of times?" He asked, concern washing over his features as he gently forced her arms down.

Noelle sighed, watching all the hospital bracelets fall down. Jasper caught each and every one of them as they spiraled aimlessly in the air. "They tried to send me to rehab too, worst seven hours of my life," Noelle stressed, counting up nine bands in his clutches.

He stared at her, and she wasn't sure how to interpret it all. "Now to that weapon stash…" she ripped herself from his gaze.

Jasper clutched her wrist, "Don't change the subject," his eyes begged.

Noelle felt like she couldn't breathe, though she did not truthfully need oxygen any longer. "I don't think I can visit that today," she took glee in the fact she could no longer shed tears, and the fact Jasper let it go, for now.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I'm back. Reviews would be nice because I've got other projects and I need to know what to prioritize and whatnot. I'll post what I have tonight and I will go from there._

_Hate to be that way, but I write fanfiction as entertainment, as in, I like to entertain. Fanfiction tests the waters for my original fiction pieces and allows me to gauge my writing ability, which apparently sucks._

_So yeah, reviews would be very nice._

_This one's a little short because of the above reason. Have fun with the dramz that unfolds._

* * *

The world around them moved onwards, slowly going over their heads as day morphed into the sinister night. After a somewhat successful hunt, Noelle finally felt satiated. "It's completely natural," Jasper reassured her.

Noelle rolled her eyes; of course he'd want to say that. She couldn't wait to see how smug Jasper was when Bella awoke. "I'm sorry, animal blood sucks," she shrugged, speaking the obvious truth, "Might as well savor humans while it's still acceptable."

Jasper grimaced, not wanting to comment on the leisurely tone Noelle developed with her not-so-controllable thirst. She chose the instances she exercised control under. "It probably doesn't make it easier for you when I say that…" Noelle realized.

He gave her a quick nod, staring up at the night sky, clouded by fog. She joined him, basking in the beauty above them, each water droplet visible to her eyes. Noelle loved the little moments like these that would fill their forever. "You know I love you, right?" she asked, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"I used to think of my gift as some kind of curse Noelle," Jasper admitted, still staring at whatever he was fixated on, "But, I get to feel the love you have for me whenever you're around me."

She wished she could do the same with Jasper. Of course, she knew that he loved her, but it would be such a luxury to know exactly how he felt whenever he locked eyes with her. "Thank you," she blissfully smiled, leaning into his shoulder. Before he could open his mouth, Noelle anticipated the impending question and decided to answer it, "For not listening to me when I told you I rather die. All those times I screamed and cried and begged you to kill me."

"One-thousand five-hundred and sixty-seven," he repeated, a grave look on his face. What perplexed Noelle was the stoic expression, but the weak and appreciative smile. It was one of those looks Jasper could only perfect. "How many times you asked me to kill you," he informed her, anticipating her questions from her perched eyebrow. Noelle was astonished; she thought she asked more than that.

"To think, if you actually stopped Rosalie that night, we'd never be where we are right now," Noelle sputtered, reviewing the memory in her own point of view and Jasper's. That night seemed so long ago, it was hard for her to fathom that soon it would be a year since the events in a short amount of time, merely months.

"I would've found a way," Jasper promised.

Noelle didn't doubt that. If he loved her as much as she loved him, they would be standing here regardless. "I want to tell my parents," Noelle blurted, obviously just a wish that would never be met.

Jasper scratched his head, staring down at her with a saddened look, "I don't think you want to kill them though."

She sighed, clutching his hand tighter; she was being bombarded by the lives of her family following her grand exit. On the surface, they all looked fine, the typical dysfunctional family that plastered suburbia. Inside, behind those closed doors, agony. Noelle never knew they actually cared that much about her. "Yeah, and I don't think it's really fair to be able to hop in and out of their lives whenever I want to," Noelle grimaced.

"We could try, but," he paused, facing her and cupping the side of her face, "You have to understand that you're going to have to live with the ramifications…"

"Yeah, I understand that," Noelle interrupted him, "So… We're going to pack bags now, right?" She pleaded, batting her eyelashes and watching Jasper melt. It wasn't _that_ hard.

* * *

"Yes, she knows I'm coming," she groaned. Her mother's footsteps were heard on the wood floors. "You stay in here, I'll be fine," Noelle convinced him. She could control herself when she needed to.

They both agreed that telling Noelle's mother was the easiest person to tell first. Kelsey had a collected demeanor and wasn't blatantly rude. Jasper kissed her cheek before she exited the dark Mercedes and stepped into the brisk night.

Immediately, the contacts dulled her vision, only allowing Noelle to see the bare minimum of foggy shadows. Ascending the wrought iron, her mother, anxiously waiting behind the wooden surface, threw the door open and dropped her jaw. Noelle forgot how much she really had changed. "Noelle," she gasped, tears forming in her eyes.

"Mom," Noelle smiled avoiding a hug by stepping into the house.

"Gosh, you're safe! Jesus Christ, where have you been!" Kelsey smoothed down Noelle's perfect hair, the woman's eyes frazzled and full of joy.

Noelle knew she couldn't tell her the truth. Lies would have to suffice, "Seattle," Noelle claimed. That wasn't too bad of a lie. "How have you been?" she queried, already knowing the answer.

"Alright, alright," she exasperated, catching the light glimmering off of Noelle's ring. Immediately, Kelsey's happy expression turned sour. "What's this?"She frisked her warm fingers under Noelle's chilly prints.

This was not going to go over well, Noelle could feel it. "You remember that guy, Jasper?" Noelle beamed.

Kelsey shook her head, "I should've known, he left the same time you did," she threw herself on the couch, "He's even outside in that car."

"He's coming up in a minute, alright?" Noelle held her mother's hand, goose bumps forming on her delicate human skin that would be so easy for Noelle to burst.

"This is supposed to be one of the best moments in a woman's life," Kelsey proclaimed, directing the jab at Noelle.

Jasper knocked on the door and Noelle got up and answered it, taking his hand and leading him to the sofa Kelsey had removed herself from to sit in a recliner. She sat at the end of her chair, holding her head with her hands. "Jasper, this is my mother, you have met her before," Noelle skittishly introduced.

"Good evening ma'am," he greeted, adding a cordial smile.

"So it's true, you proposed to my daughter?" Noelle's mother coolly addressed him.

Jasper nodded. "This is supposed to be one of the best memories of your life Noelle," Kelsey stressed, giving Noelle the wide blue eyes that once belonged to Noelle as well.

"It is," Noelle reassured her, trying to find where her mother's doubts were originating from.

"It may be one of the best memories of your life, but why can't it be with someone that your family approves of? With someone that allows us to say congratulations to? Because I can't tell you that, I cannot congratulate this mess. Did you only come back here to flaunt? To say I told you so Noelle?" Kelsey burst into a wind of emotion, tears falling down her face, "I'm sorry, Jasper, but do you even know the real story behind…" Kelsey sobbed. Either way, Kelsey wasn't going to be happy with his answer.

Noelle found the calm Jasper was thankfully sending out, holding onto his hand tighter to let him know how anxious she was, though something told her that he needn't any more clues to draw that conclusion. "I do," Jasper confessed.

Kelsey and Noelle shared a glare and Noelle knew what was to come next. Was she prepared? No. "Out of my house! Noelle Oliver, you are dead to me!" she screeched.

"Hey, don't talk to her like that!" Jasper defensively placed an arm around the low of Noelle's back, as if the human could hurt her.

"Out, both of you! Don't you dare think about coming back!" Kelsey shrieked, Noelle trying to process the moment and not look at her mother's face. "You heard me," her mother repeated, opening the front door.

Noelle removed Jasper's hand from around her, "Come on," she mustered, flimsily holding his warm fingers, trying not to appear so strong in front of her hysterical mother.

Jasper obeyed, getting up and turning to her mother. Before Noelle could stop him, the words spewed from his mouth, "I'm going to give her the life she deserves whether you approve of it or not!" he bellowed, instilling pure fear in Kelsey's small frame, "I don't know how she's such a good person, _a good mother_, when she has the worst examples!"

"Both of you get out of here before I call the police!" Kelsey threatened, Jasper completely livid.

"Trust me, I'm getting her out of here, you don't have to call anybody," Jasper spat through clenched teeth, Noelle urging him to come outside already. "It's about time someone actually cared about her," he squinted, his porcelain body shaking.

Kelsey lost it, "You think I don't care about her!? How could I not care!? I've cared too much!" she exclaimed.

"Jasper, let's just go," Noelle begged; now forcefully tugging him through the door. "I'm sorry we can't see eye to eye on this, Mom," Noelle's sobs surfaced, trying to focus on whatever else wasn't so painful.

"Don't call me that," Kelsey spoke evenly, slamming the door and turning out the porch light.

She had to tug Jasper down the steps, he finally snapped back to the planet he inhabited and opened the door for her. Inside she climbed, placing her head atop of her knees. Jasper entered the driver's side and started the car. With an audible grit of the teeth, he made a u-turn in the street and sped towards the Cullen house to return the car so they could run back home.

When they had made good distance away from the house, Jasper had finally cooled down enough to speak, "God, I should go back and…" he dropped off the end of his sentence.

"She's my mom, Jasper," Noelle mustered, "I may not be her daughter, but that's my mom," she choked on the tearless sob arising in her throat, still trying to comprehend everything that had just happened.

* * *

**_Kind of fake, right? Lolz. I don't carez anymore. I should get Noelle knocked up. Really, I don't think another update is in store for a long time. Sorry. _**


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